Dear Jessleigh:
I am so sorry to hear that your Dad passed from this world. It is clear that you loved him very, very much, and you will be missing him for a long time.
It is not uncommon for people to ignore or minimize symptoms that might indicate a heart attack. Men often express feeling overly full, having indigestion, or and upset stomach. People who have not survived a heart attack often do not attribute these symptoms to anything serious, and one of the symptoms of heart attack is denial and minimizing. In my long experience as a nurse, I have found that men are socially expected to be macho and tough, and are not very keen on going to the doctor, even when they really need to. So your Dad did what a lot of people do, so I would not blame him for ignoring these symptoms or ascribing them to other possible reasons.I am sure he did not want to leave you, and this is not his fault.
What you are doing-looking for information and seeking facts and comfort-is also very normal part of grieving. A dear friend of mine lost her husband 2 years ago in a very similar way, a massive heart attack, and she was plagued by questions like "Could I have prevented this, did I do all I could have, if I had been home earlier, might he have live?" After talking to her husband's doctor, she was assured that no action of her part could have saved him, his arteries were too blocked and his heart would not have endured any intervention that even a hospital might have offered. That information really helped her let go of any guilt she was feeling. Perhaps your dad's doctor can help you and your family gain a similar understanding. Your Dad's death is not your fault. You have no reason to bear any feelings of guilt. There is nothing you could have done.
I have no idea what your spiritual leanings are, but you might wish to talk to a minister or spiritual leader. A grief counselor is also very helpful to assist families in the process of coming to grips with such a big loss. Everyone in your family will be going though a period of trial and tribulation, and it is important to maintain compassion and patience with one another as you help each other remember, honor and let go of your dad. Often it can help to make a tribute, a memorial or a symbolic gesture like planting trees or a memorial garden,creating a plaque, or simply writing your fondest memories about your dear dad and sharing them with your family and friends.
When people lose a loved one, well meaning friends and relatives often don't know what to say, or sometimes say things that hurt. It is not uncommon for people to expect you to "get over it, move on" They don't mean to be inconsiderate, but if anyone is giving you this message, please be patient with yourself; and don't think you have to adhere to some time line of healing. To be honest, in a way we never really "get over" the loss of a dear on, especially a parent, but the pain does lessen over time. If you find yourself unable to cope or feeling self destructive, please seek help. I pray for peace in your heart as you move through this very difficult part of your life. Please have faith that this terrible experience will give you new wisdom and great compassion for others whose hearts are breaking. God bless you, Jessleigh, your Dad raised a very sweet daughter.